


away in a manger

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, Fluff, M/M, spawn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-25
Updated: 2009-12-25
Packaged: 2019-01-31 05:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12675303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: On Christmas morning, Pin discover that Santa has sent the stork to their house instead.





	away in a manger

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

“This isn’t just eggnog, is it?” Yamapi inquires, his heavy head lolling onto Jin’s shoulder because the effort to hold it up is entirely too much. “You’re trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me on Christmas Eve, aren’t you, you sick fuck?”

He regrets it the minute Jin shoves him away, leading him to swing completely across the couch and bang his head on the arm.

“Ow.”

“That’s what you get for being ungrateful,” Jin tells him calmly, his voice only a little slurred as he takes another sip of the holiday drink. “You could have had my warm shoulder, but _no_ , you had to be an asshole.”

Yamapi pouts into the rough fabric. “I’m sorry.”

He hears a sigh, then a tug on his sleeve that ends up taking nearly all of Jin’s weight to lift him back up. Naturally Yamapi’s head returns to Jin’s shoulder, face nuzzling his throat, and Yamapi considers the bare collarbones above the lowcut collar of his shirt before- “Don’t even think about it,” Jin growls. “I’ll make you eat the carpet again.”

Yamapi frowns. He rather detests the taste of carpet, although he’s hard-pressed to remember when Jin had actually knocked him face-first into it. They play-fight a lot, once or twice that were real, but he thinks he would remember an occasion to make oral sex jokes out of.

He’s about to open his mouth to ask, but then decides it’s not worth it. He’s distracted anyway, by the twinkling lights on their Christmas tree that they finally got around to putting up earlier today. Jin could have had it up ages ago, but he’s incredibly lazy and besides, he wanted them to do it together to commemorate their first Christmas together as roommates. (Although Yamapi still suspects that it’s because he’s incredibly lazy. Jin can’t fool him with sentimentality.)

The bright colors all blur together and Yamapi starts to wonder if Jin didn’t actually drug him for real; he’s not usually this much of a lightweight and it’s not even that late. They _have_ had a lot to drink tonight, though, starting with the quasi-party with Shirota and Ryo where they played drinking games with red and green Jello shots. Then they watched a badly-dubbed American Christmas movie while sipping Irish coffee, which seemed to have had the exact opposite effect by knocking out both Shirota and Ryo by the end. Jin had offered for them to stay but they both had obligations in the morning, sharing a cab that would take them to their respective homes where they had intelligently left their cars.

Yamapi’s car is in the second assigned parking spot like usual, but this year he doesn’t have to feel guilty about staying. All of the prior Christmas Eves he had purposely drove so that Jin would make him stay, the two of them waking up together on Christmas morning and nursing their hangovers with Jin-mama’s homemade Christmas cake. Jin probably thinks it has more to do with the cake than with _him_ , and Yamapi is okay with that.

He’s not quite ready to try and explain what he feels inside yet. Especially when he can’t even lift his own head.

His nonsensical drunken waffling is interrupted by a knock on Jin’s- _their_ front door, so softly that Yamapi thinks he imagined it at first. Then a strange sound comes from out in the hallway, and for a minute he thinks he’s going crazy because Jin’s not making any inclination that he heard anything.

Then a light snore is pressed into the top of Yamapi’s head, and Yamapi rolls his eyes. He is not a pillow.

“Jin,” he manages to say, poking Jin in the side until the older man squirms. “There’s someone at the door.”

“Santa?” Jin murmurs, sounding hopeful although not very awake and Yamapi can’t help but laugh at him.

He thinks about it and his face falls. “Maybe.”

“If you get it, I’ll make breakfast,” Jin negotiates without opening his eyes.

“Your _mom_ is making breakfast,” Yamapi points out, but he still heaves himself up and stumbles towards the door after a rather unmatched fight with gravity.

The lights in the hallway are bright, making him squint before he even has the door all the way open, but even he can see that there’s nobody there. Some bored kids playing a joke on the neighbors, probably, but just to make sure he decides to step into the hallway and check things out.

His foot meets a hard surface and sends him toppling to the floor, landing on his hands and nose on the worn carpet.

All he can think of is that Jin’s- _their_ carpet would probably taste better.

It makes him laugh at the incredulity of it all, especially that the lazy bitch hasn’t yet gotten up to see what the giant thud was. He pushes up on his elbows and rubs his nose, straining to see something moving in the box he’d tripped over.

That strange noise sounds again, and now that it’s right next to him his vision becomes clear. Yamapi seriously wonders if he’s not hallucinating after all.

“Oh, shit,” he says, then clasps his hand to his mouth because he probably shouldn’t swear around a baby.

A _baby_.

“Jin,” he calls out, a little frantically, even though the logical part of him that pushes to surface through all the booze tells him that this just can’t be real. It just can’t be.

But there’s no denying that it has Jin’s eyes.

“Pi, what’s the big fucking-”

Jin’s voice comes closer as he undoubtedly staggers towards the door, then trails off completely when he looks down to see Yamapi sprawled out on the hallway floor next to a wood box with a squirmy, chubby baby in it.

Yamapi can almost see him sobering up at the sight alone, his eyes sharpening and his nerves awakening. Jin has never looked more attentive before as he kneels down next to the box, looking away long enough to glance helplessly at Yamapi before returning to the little bundle.

“What did you do, Jin?” Yamapi asks softly. He’s probably more scared than Jin is.

Jin just shakes his head. “Just like the Baby Jesus,” he mumbles with a stupid smile.

“What?” Yamapi sputters. “What are you talking about?”

“A baby in a manger,” Jin explains. “It’s the original Christmas story from the Bible. We should name it Jesus.”

The ‘we’ has Yamapi shivering, but he blames it on the low temperature of the hallway and focuses on the point at hand. “We’re not naming it Jesus. She’s Japanese. And a girl.”

Something softens in Jin’s eyes as he presumably takes in the pink blanket and tiny bows in the baby’s thick, dark hair. “A girl.”

Until this moment, Yamapi hasn’t actually seen someone fall in love before. Jin’s breath escapes him like it’s an afterthought and a stupid grin spreads on his face. “My wish came true.”

“Jin?” Yamapi fights to sound stern, his mind clear but his body still very, very drunk. “This isn’t a TV skit, okay. This is very, very real. You got somebody pregnant and-”

“There’s a note,” Jin interrupts him, or more likely he hadn’t been listening to begin with. His eyes sparkle as he leans down and picks the slender envelope from between the blanket and the side of the manger. Yamapi gulps as Jin opens it, nervous enough for both of them. “‘My name is Suki-chan’,” he reads. “My mommy is Narigawa Ai’ – _oh_.”

Yamapi raises an eyebrow. “Ring a bell?”

“New Year’s,” is all Jin says. “- ‘who has been very sick and will probably not make it through the night’.” Jin sniffles a little and Yamapi frowns at the feeling of guilt he can practically see shining from his roommate’s heart. “‘Please forgive her for not telling you about me, as she didn’t want to be a burden to you and your career. However, her last wish was for you to know about me, and she asks that you please contact the proper authorities to take care of me upon receipt of this letter. But in the event that’…”

Yamapi gives him a second, wary of the wetness that forms in his eyes. “But in the event that…” he prompts gently.

Jin clears his throat and clutches the note in one hand, the other leaning on the edge of the manger. “‘But in the event that you want to keep me, I will be t-the best daughter in the world. My mommy knew how much you wanted a little girl, so here I am if you’ll accept me. Merry Christmas.'”

The silence hangs heavy in the cold hallway, and Yamapi bites his lip as he watches Jin with hawk eyes. Inevitably this is his decision to make, one which already seems to be made with the way Jin chokes back a sob when the baby Suki grabs onto one of his fingers. Then he looks at Yamapi, desperately and shaking, and all Yamapi can do is nod.

He doesn’t expect the wind to be knocked out of him as he’s crushed into a tight hug, but he can’t deny that it feels good. He hasn’t comforted Jin for a long time, not since they’ve been adults, and despite being bigger now they still fit perfectly together, even kneeling on the floor and shivering as Yamapi squeezes him around the middle of his back and Jin lets it all out into his shoulder.

Yamapi finds it ironic, the father crying while the infant daughter watches with big, curious eyes, her face and nose tinted red in a way that seems both profound and pointed. She’s wearing a onesie but it can’t be that warm; Yamapi is already planning to take a trip into town in the morning to find a little hat, or maybe Rina could make one.

“Jin,” Yamapi whispers reluctantly, not quite wanting to let go yet. “It’s freezing out here, we should take her inside.”

“I don’t trust myself to carry her,” Jin chokes into his sweater. “I’m really drunk.”

“Me too,” Yamapi admits. “Maybe we could gently drag the box inside.”

“She can’t sleep in that,” Jin says quickly, his voice becoming panicky as he pulls away and stares at Suki with worried eyes. “It’s okay for her to sleep in my bed, isn’t it? It’s okay if she’s my daughter…”

“I’d be more worried about her falling out,” Yamapi thinks out loud. “Your bed is western and high off the floor. What if she rolls away?”

Jin scrunches his face in concentration as he pulls the manger while Yamapi pushes. “She won’t if you’re there too,” he finally says. “We can close her in.”

“And then what?” Yamapi asks. “What happens in the morning?”

“We’ll worry about that then,” Jin says, sounding a lot more certain than he looks. They’ve made it into Jin’s bedroom and Jin now seems to be contemplating the distance from the floor to his bed. “Maybe we should just move the bed down here.”

‘We’ becomes ‘Yamapi’, who unceremoniously drags all of Jin’s pillows and blankets to the floor where they spread a makeshift bed with at least three comforters to lay on. Very carefully, they join forces to place Suki in the middle. Jin flops down on his side and Suki instantly curls up next to him, attracted to his body heat, and Jin looks like he’s in danger of crying again as he wraps his arms around her and stares at Yamapi.

“I don’t really still need to be here,” Yamapi says, feeling awkward at intruding on such a sentimental moment.

“Please don’t leave,” Jin whispers, reaching for one of Yamapi’s hands and pulling him down on the other side of Suki.

“I don’t think she’s going to roll anywhere,” Yamapi points out, but he’s already closed his eyes to the comfort of a pillow and soft blanket.

Jin’s voice fades as he succumbs to his intoxicated exhaustion: “She doesn’t need you. I do.”

The last thing he thinks of before he falls asleep is how they’re basically making the shape of a heart in the mess of covers on Jin’s floor.

*

Which is how Jin’s mom finds them several hours later, shaking her head as the sunlight pours right into Yamapi’s eyes.

“Ow,” he says, rubbing his head.

A happy gurgle sounds from in front of his face, and he slowly pries open one eye to find Suki right next to him, blowing spit bubbles.

“If I hear the words ‘immaculate conception’, I’m smacking you both with the broom,” Jin-mama says in a low, dark voice.

“I don’t have a broom,” Jin mumbles, lifting his arms in a full-body stretch before his eyes fly open. “Oh fuck.”

Still half-asleep, Yamapi scoops Suki up on his arms and rolls them both away, giving Jin-mama unobstructed access to her oldest son.

“I don’t suppose you’d believe it’s Pi’s,” Jin says sheepishly.

“Being as she looks exactly like _you_ did as a baby, no,” Jin-mama replies. “And I found her birth certificate in the box… thing.”

“Manger,” Jin corrects.

“Whatever.” Jin-mama’s voice has softened, the floorboards creaking as she steps towards them and kneels in front of them. “She’s not even three months old, Jin. What are you going to do?”

Jin sniffs in response and Yamapi turns around in concern, but it just seems to be hangover allergies and not any kind of heavy emotions. Jin looks like shit, rumpled and sweaty from sleeping in his clothes, his hair plastered all over his face. Yamapi’s sure he doesn’t look much better, but Suki doesn’t seem to care as she snuggles up to him and pats her tiny hands against his chest.

Then her mouth closes around his nipple through his shirt, and Yamapi lets out a screech that’s more surprise than actual pain.

Both Jin and his mother turn towards him and simultaneously burst into laughter.

“It’s not funny,” Yamapi grumbles, gently easing the persistent baby away from him. “I don’t have any milk for you, Suki-chan.”

She blinks at him and lets out a fierce cry.

“Definitely has your lungs,” Yamapi says to Jin, nudging Suki towards him. “And your appetite.”

“You can’t keep an Akanishi from its food,” Jin-mama announces, producing a bottle from behind her that makes Suki instantly stop crying and give her grandmother grabby hands. “Luckily they’ve never had a problem _sleeping_ , so I had time to run to the store before you all woke up.”

“You’re the best, Mom,” Jin tells her, watching intently as she expertly takes Suki into her arms and feeds her. Yamapi’s eyes widen at the speed with which that tiny child drains the bottle, then laughs when she lets out a burp that puts her father to shame.

Jin just looks proud. “That’s my girl.”

His mother’s face takes on a solemn expression as she continues to rock her granddaughter long after she’s fed and happy. “I can’t even bring myself to lecture you, Jin.”

“You don’t have to,” Jin says, nervously scratching the back of his neck. “The headache I have right now is bad enough.”

“Go get cleaned up,” Jin-mama orders, then cuts her eyes to Yamapi. “Both of you. I’ll tend to Suki-chan until the three of us can sit down and discuss this.”

Yamapi doesn’t feel like fighting Jin for the bathroom, but his heart aches as he watches Jin struggle to get up and nearly fall out of the doorway. Memories flash back in his mind, unpleasant ones, and he hopes that this is the first and last time Suki sees her father like this. That feeling of resentment is ultimately what has him jumping to his feet, following Jin in uneven strides until he shoves him into the bathroom and backs him up against the sink.

“If you’re going to do this, I won’t let you do it half-assed,” Yamapi says sternly. “That little girl deserves more than that.”

He’s pretty sure he sees a streak of rage in Jin’s eyes, like he wants to lash out, but then he relaxes under Yamapi’s fisted grip. “I know, I know.”

Yamapi exhales sharply and abruptly lets Jin go. “Sorry, I just-”

“I know,” Jin says again, and Yamapi raises his eyes to meet understanding ones. “I won’t be like him, I promise.”

Nodding, Yamapi steps back and busies himself with the faucets. “Let’s take a bath,” is all he says.

It’s not uncommon for them to bathe together, no different than at a public bath but with the added benefit of bubbles. They may be grown men but the scents are nice, the oils comforting, and honestly Yamapi is fine with any flavor as long as it’s nowhere close to a rose. Today it’s milk and honey, and before they even get in the tub Yamapi’s resigned himself to being the one who takes care of Jin.

“You owe me,” he teases as he rubs shampoo into Jin’s dirty hair.

“Please stay,” is Jin’s response, and Yamapi falls still with his hands full of suds because he doesn’t think they’re talking about right here in the bathtub.

“Jin.”

“I _know_ ,” Jin repeats, sounding like a broken record while Yamapi wonders who he’s defending himself to. “I have a headache because I didn’t sleep for very long. I’ve been up for hours thinking of how this will affect my life, my job, my… you.”

Yamapi frowns as he continues like he had never stopped, rubbing Jin’s scalp a little harder than necessary in an attempt to relax him. “This has nothing to do with me.”

Even as the words leave his lips, he knows it’s a lie. He reaches for the spray and washes the soap out of Jin’s hair, then moves onto the conditioner. Jin remains silent as he leans back into Yamapi’s touch, eyes closed and looking for all the world like this was just another lazy morning after drinking too much. But Yamapi knows better, the silence between them filled with tension as he can almost hear Jin trying to piece together his thoughts.

When Jin starts to make a pained face, Yamapi takes pity on him. “One thing at a time, Bakanishi. Do you want to keep her?”

“Yes,” Jin answers immediately. “I’ll quit Johnny’s if I have to. I can get a job somewhere, anywhere. I could move back in with my parents-”

He’s cut off by his own cry as Yamapi yanks on his hair to shut him up. “Don’t be stupid. There’s a world of money to be made by marketing you with a baby girl. Scandals _pay_ , Jin. Johnny has to know that by now.”

Jin smirks. “There’s that uni degree at work.”

Yamapi slaps him upside his wet head. “I’m serious. Next thing – where do I fit into this?”

Wordlessly Jin looks down, and Yamapi takes advantage of the position to bring the spray back to Jin’s hair. Now clean, Yamapi pointedly turns around and waits his turn, drumming his fingers impatiently on the edge of the tub.

Strong fingers sink into his hair but there is still no reply, and Yamapi’s about to give up and give _in_ to the sensations of Jin’s amazing head massage when Jin’s soft words have him much more alert than before: “I want to do this with you.”

Yamapi exhales. “With me.”

“Yeah.”

The warm water streaks down his face as Jin rinses his hair, then combs the conditioner in with his fingers. “Okay.”

Jin pauses in the middle of molding Yamapi’s hair into viking horns. “Are you sure, Pi? I mean, this isn’t your mistake to pay for.”

“Call her a mistake again and I’ll drown you,” Yamapi threatens, then leans his head back on Jin’s shoulder. “Kidding.”

Jin lets out a breath like he’d been holding it in for awhile, mixed with a laugh that strengthens as the spray shoots right in Yamapi’s face. “Don’t fuck with me when I’m vulnerable, Yamashita.”

Water splashes over the edge as Yamapi wrestles the showerhead away from him; he half expects Jin’s mom to yell at them with as much racket as they’re making. It’s like they’ve regressed ten years out of spite for the severity of the situation, laughing as they dunk each other and end up panting for much needed air, bubbles in their hair as neither makes an effort to get out despite the water becoming lukewarm.

Yamapi settles against the end of the tub, his arms along the edges and head leaned back, and he doesn’t even jump when Jin lays back against him and sighs. He lifts his head only to get a face full of wet Jin hair, but doesn’t have the heart to shove him away.

“She’s not dating until she’s thirty,” is all he says, and he can practically feel Jin’s smile.

*

Their hands and feet are wrinkled by the time they get out, both guiltily regarding Jin’s mother who’s swaying slowly on Jin’s recliner with the sleeping Suki in her arms.

“You need a proper rocking chair,” she tells them in a quiet voice. “I guess your father and I will have to get you one for Christmas. Along with a crib.”

Jin swallows. “Mom, I can buy those things myself.”

“Sit down, boys,” Jin-mama orders, sounding more intimidating than if she’d been speaking loudly. Jin and Yamapi immediately comply, both looking like they’re about to be scolded. “I assume you know what you’re getting into here.”

“Yes,” they chorus. Yamapi’s not sure why he’s answering too, but Jin looks grateful to have him by his side (at the very least).

Regardless, Jin-mama hones in on Yamapi. “Pisuke?”

“Yes,” Yamapi says again, nodding for effect. “I definitely want to be a part of this.”

Jin stares at him, expressionless.

“This isn’t like caring for a pet,” Jin-mama tells them sternly. “She needs constant supervision, adequate food and temperature, proper cleaning, and so on. You can’t leave her with a nanny all the time, either.”

“Our schedules are pretty opposite,” Jin offers, squirming under his mother’s disbelieving scrutiny. “Did you and Dad have it all planned out when you got pregnant with me in high school?”

Jin-mama’s face relaxes, a smile forming as she tries not to upset the baby with her soft laughter. “I guess you got me there.”

“If it’s me and Pi, we can do anything,” Jin tells her confidently. “We’re invincible together.”

Yamapi nods in agreement, even though he didn’t really believe that until this very minute.

“In that case,” Jin-mama says with a knowing look as the little girl in her arms squirms and makes an uncomfortable face, “I’ll let you two fight over who gets to change her.”

She has the decency to hide her surprise when they actually janken for it.

*

What feels like the longest day in the world is just a prelude to the rest of their lives, which is such a profound thought that it snaps Yamapi out of his trance of watching Jin rock Suki under the Christmas tree. Unlike his mother, Jin doesn’t need a chair to rock back and forth, the blinking lights reflecting in Suki’s big brown eyes before they reluctantly close for the night – or at least the next couple hours.

Yamapi sits cross-legged next to them, pushing away unwelcome mental associations that involve life-size presents in a hideous flannel shirt and messy ponytail. Before today it would have stopped there, but now the pink bundle in his arms is a necessity, part of the package deal that seems to make the road ahead of him much clearer than before.

Then Jin chuckles softly and glances at Yamapi like the joke’s on him.

“What?” Yamapi whispers, only a little annoyed.

Jin bites his lip before leaning down to kiss his daughter on the forehead. “If I squint, it looks like she has your nose.”

“Stupid,” Yamapi hisses affectionately, punching him halfheartedly in the arm to keep from breaking down at the implication.

“It’s not actually that far off,” Jin goes on. “Ai-chan looked a lot like you.”

“Jin…” Yamapi resists the urge to cover his face in true childish behavior – if he can’t see it, it doesn’t exist – and finally asks the question he’s been wanting to ask all day: “What does this mean?”

Jin tears his eyes away from Suki to look at him, really _look_ at him, into his eyes. Yamapi takes a deep breath but doesn’t break the contact, this impromptu staring contest with much more at stake than just winning or losing. Yamapi fights but Jin has a father’s serenity on his side, and Yamapi is preparing for defeat when Suki stirs and Jin’s attention instantly returns to the sleeping baby in his arms.

Yamapi can’t help but think she did it on purpose, his sneaky little ally.

“Okay,” Jin says reluctantly, taking a deep breath before facing Yamapi with warm, calm eyes. “Families can’t exist without love, right? And since we are a family now…”

Yamapi’s torn between making fun of him and clutching his heart, but in all honestly Jin’s only saying the words that Yamapi couldn’t say himself, even before last night. “Think about what you’re saying.”

“I’ve thought about it for a long time, actually,” Jin admits, and the truth shows on his face. “I was so glad when you decided to move in, even though I didn’t really understand why I wanted to see you so badly. Friends don’t look forward to seeing each other in the morning, or welcoming each other home after a long tour, or even purposely getting each other stupid drunk so that they get a little closer than usual -”

“I knew it,” Yamapi interrupts, feeling a strong sense of self-righteousness. “We’re not just friends, Jin.”

“I know,” Jin replies, then grins. “We’re parents.”

Yamapi rolls his eyes, but he can’t exactly argue. He doesn’t think twice before scooting over and laying his head on Jin’s shoulder, smiling when Jin tilts his own head to rest on Yamapi’s. Slowly Yamapi slings his arm behind Jin, resting his hand on Jin’s elbow that’s cradling Suki’s head, his finger brushing along the soft skin of her cheek. “We’re going to have to talk about it eventually.”

“I just found out I was a father less than twenty-four hours ago,” Jin says. “I can only handle so many life-changing revelations at once.”

Holding back the smile that wants to split across his face, Yamapi tugs lightly on on Jin’s arm. “Come on, Touchan, let’s go to bed.”

Jin looks reluctant about getting up, but Yamapi slides his hands under Suki’s warm body and she automatically gravitates towards his chest. She doesn’t stir as she’s transferred from heartbeat to heartbeat, which become closer and more in sync as they forgo the newly purchased crib and go straight to the mess of blankets from last night, only this time Suki is snug between the pair of them.

Over her head, Jin’s face is right in front of Yamapi’s, and it just feels right to close the minimal distance between them and kiss him. To his credit, Jin doesn’t jump or squeak or even pull away, content to lightly move their lips together in a slow, lazy interpretation of all the words they can’t bring themselves to say.

“Merry Christmas,” Jin whispers. “I hope one day your wish comes true too.”

“It already has,” Yamapi replies, and he can swear he hears Suki’s sleepy coo of approval.


End file.
